Elwood P Squirrel the XXIII, Esquire

Continued from  

Yes, now, about that spot o' tea?  Yes, quite.  I am posilutely famished and this is just what the doctor ordered as they say, wot?  Heh heh!   Ah!  Cashews!  My favorite nut, which, when I utter the name of the delightful thing, my friends say God Bless You!  Aye wot?  Cashew!  "Gesundheit" they say!  Haha!
 I am most in your debt, and at your service should my talents be required at any time, you may be sure, they are at the ready and on the very cusp of deployment to grant your wish.  Hand to heart, I say!  Aye wot?
Back during my days as a young squire aspiring to knighthood, I learned from Sir Chippy the Frisky Tailed, whom I had the distinct pleasure to serve, that a deed of kindness must always be acknowledged and rewarded if at all possible.  So!  I would like to grant you a boon, if I may, my good fellow!  I hope it is within my power to do so, but please, do me the honor!  What is your request?

Name your requests in the comments!  Funniest one gets 5 points!